Gabrielle Bernstein (Photo: Dan Hallman). I recently attended a Yoga Journal-sponsored talk on “True Power” with Gabrielle Bernstein. She tested out material from her upcoming book The Universe Has Your Back, which addresses how to transform fear into faith in order to live a divinely guided life.
At the 700-person event, we meditated, we consciously breathed, we chanted, we sat with our (for some, uncomfortable) feelings, we shared and we learned steps to awaken our true power.
The following week I met with The New York Times best-selling self-help author and motivational speaker over a lunch of vegan cuisine at Angelic Kitchen in the East Village, for a Q&A for the Observer. We covered a lot of ground, talking about success, ISIS and her tips to happiness (see the story here). But there were a lot of interesting bits that didn’t make it into the article, like Gabby's thoughts on money, trying to get pregnant and having faith amid tragedy. I share all of that below.
At the 700-person event, we meditated, we consciously breathed, we chanted, we sat with our (for some, uncomfortable) feelings, we shared and we learned steps to awaken our true power.
The following week I met with The New York Times best-selling self-help author and motivational speaker over a lunch of vegan cuisine at Angelic Kitchen in the East Village, for a Q&A for the Observer. We covered a lot of ground, talking about success, ISIS and her tips to happiness (see the story here). But there were a lot of interesting bits that didn’t make it into the article, like Gabby's thoughts on money, trying to get pregnant and having faith amid tragedy. I share all of that below.
On becoming a motivational speaker…
At around four years into [the PR] business, in around 2005, when I was getting sober and starting personal changes, I was called to speak about it. I had been speaking publicly prior to that at universities so I was already comfortable speaking because I have a—just do it—mentality, like if there is something you want to say, go say it. Find a way to say it, especially today. It's like blog about it, go to a yoga studio and put on a talk. At the time, the only people using Facebook were college students and so I would put on talks at the LGBT Center, I would put on talks at the Soho House, I'd put on talks wherever I could and just invite people for like $20 to come hear me share about what I was doing. I invited people from my nail salon or from my fitness center, my girlfriends, and I was like, just come, and it became this zeitgeist of young New York women looking to find spirituality instead of a nightclub. And it was just me telling my story. So, if you have a story, that is your content. That is your credibility. People would say, “How do I know that I can do it?” I said, “Well, if you have a personal transformational story, that is your life cred,” and that life cred in my opinion is just as valuable, if not more in some ways, than a [college] degree.
On being fearless about money…
I changed my money story when I was in my 20s. I'm not going to fear money—that’s a story I made for myself. And obviously everything I preach is what you believe you create so I just believed that. I didn't let myself be in a fear story about money and I learned how to earn at a young age so as a result of having that freedom psychologically, I've never really been in fear. And that’s not to say the old stories don't come up because they do regardless of what's up for you because that's just stuff that you need to heal. But I've been in the conversation with myself since I was 21 of—I know how to earn and I'm going to do it and I'm not going to fear it.
On steering clear of stinking thinking…
I'm in a constant conversation. I wake up in the morning and I do my meditation practice and I say prayers and then I go and I get taken out because of something and then I come back and I sit down and I take a few breaths. I practice using prayer and affirmation throughout the day to just anchor me back so that's why I put a lot of that in the book because I think that like everything takes us out. One that I use a lot is: “I choose to see this differently.” So I'll take an issue like, maybe somebody didn't do something I asked them to do and I'm flipping out about it. And I'll just say, “I choose to see this situation differently.” And I'll use this throughout the day just to stay in the conversation of—it’s my choice how I want to perceive it. Sometimes it's easier than others.
On trying to conceive…
I'm just sort of in the, when it will happen, it will happen as it's supposed to happen [state]. I'm speaking pretty publicly about helping women surrender because I think that is probably one of the biggest places where you need to learn how to surrender and learn to give up your plan.
On women who can't seem to get pregnant...
I think that if you feel the call that you're meant to be a parent, then it's meant to be and whether you have that child on your own or you adopt a child—that is the contract that you will sign. That is what is supposed to happen. I don't think if it's not happening that that is a sign that it shouldn't happen. It may be a sign that it is supposed to happen in a way that is not your plan, like adoption.
On maintaining faith amid tragedy…
I think it's in those times of grief that you need connection most...[and] having a sense of practice of daily centeredness. Meditation, prayer, daily contemplation is most useful when you're grieving. The wound is the place where the light enters you. Sometimes it's in the most horrible circumstances that we feel our greatest spiritual connection. [For example], there is no good thing to [say] about losing a child. There's no re-frame with that. But it's just like everything, what am I going to bring to this? How am I going to show up for this? Trauma, addiction, grief, the real question is not, “how do I get over this?” It's, “what do I do with this? How do I integrate this experience in my life in a way where it will expand my faith in whatever form that comes and be of service to the world?”
Amen!
At around four years into [the PR] business, in around 2005, when I was getting sober and starting personal changes, I was called to speak about it. I had been speaking publicly prior to that at universities so I was already comfortable speaking because I have a—just do it—mentality, like if there is something you want to say, go say it. Find a way to say it, especially today. It's like blog about it, go to a yoga studio and put on a talk. At the time, the only people using Facebook were college students and so I would put on talks at the LGBT Center, I would put on talks at the Soho House, I'd put on talks wherever I could and just invite people for like $20 to come hear me share about what I was doing. I invited people from my nail salon or from my fitness center, my girlfriends, and I was like, just come, and it became this zeitgeist of young New York women looking to find spirituality instead of a nightclub. And it was just me telling my story. So, if you have a story, that is your content. That is your credibility. People would say, “How do I know that I can do it?” I said, “Well, if you have a personal transformational story, that is your life cred,” and that life cred in my opinion is just as valuable, if not more in some ways, than a [college] degree.
On being fearless about money…
I changed my money story when I was in my 20s. I'm not going to fear money—that’s a story I made for myself. And obviously everything I preach is what you believe you create so I just believed that. I didn't let myself be in a fear story about money and I learned how to earn at a young age so as a result of having that freedom psychologically, I've never really been in fear. And that’s not to say the old stories don't come up because they do regardless of what's up for you because that's just stuff that you need to heal. But I've been in the conversation with myself since I was 21 of—I know how to earn and I'm going to do it and I'm not going to fear it.
On steering clear of stinking thinking…
I'm in a constant conversation. I wake up in the morning and I do my meditation practice and I say prayers and then I go and I get taken out because of something and then I come back and I sit down and I take a few breaths. I practice using prayer and affirmation throughout the day to just anchor me back so that's why I put a lot of that in the book because I think that like everything takes us out. One that I use a lot is: “I choose to see this differently.” So I'll take an issue like, maybe somebody didn't do something I asked them to do and I'm flipping out about it. And I'll just say, “I choose to see this situation differently.” And I'll use this throughout the day just to stay in the conversation of—it’s my choice how I want to perceive it. Sometimes it's easier than others.
On trying to conceive…
I'm just sort of in the, when it will happen, it will happen as it's supposed to happen [state]. I'm speaking pretty publicly about helping women surrender because I think that is probably one of the biggest places where you need to learn how to surrender and learn to give up your plan.
On women who can't seem to get pregnant...
I think that if you feel the call that you're meant to be a parent, then it's meant to be and whether you have that child on your own or you adopt a child—that is the contract that you will sign. That is what is supposed to happen. I don't think if it's not happening that that is a sign that it shouldn't happen. It may be a sign that it is supposed to happen in a way that is not your plan, like adoption.
On maintaining faith amid tragedy…
I think it's in those times of grief that you need connection most...[and] having a sense of practice of daily centeredness. Meditation, prayer, daily contemplation is most useful when you're grieving. The wound is the place where the light enters you. Sometimes it's in the most horrible circumstances that we feel our greatest spiritual connection. [For example], there is no good thing to [say] about losing a child. There's no re-frame with that. But it's just like everything, what am I going to bring to this? How am I going to show up for this? Trauma, addiction, grief, the real question is not, “how do I get over this?” It's, “what do I do with this? How do I integrate this experience in my life in a way where it will expand my faith in whatever form that comes and be of service to the world?”
Amen!
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